If death could be perfect I witnessed it tonight. Gram passed on about an hour and a half ago. In the past few days she was not communicating with us anymore and yesterday we got her into continuous care. Gram just drifted away. She slowly stopped breathing with me at her side. Since purple was Gram's favorite color I made the blog as purple as I could.
At first Gram would open her eyes when one of us talked to her but eventually that stopped. Hearing is the last sense that leaves a person so we all took turns talking and praying. There were a few moments that will stick with me forever. Darlene came to visit and for Darlene that was tough. When Gram heard her and felt Darlene hold her hand Gram moved and you could see she was happy. Everyday I visited Gram would ask about Darlene... The other moment was when Gram last had her eyes open. The people at Grams home called to me to come in because Gram opened her eyes. I brought Kasey and Elana in with me and I told Gram we were there. She saw us and smiled. It was precious.
In the end Gram was a fighter. The hospice nurse was surprised...she has never see a person live so long after the initial signs of death occurred. For 5 hours either John, Leaf, Elana, Kasey and I were there. We told stories about Gram, laughed at her feistiness, and made sure she was comfortable. In Grams very last moments I held her hand, stroked her hair and told her how much we loved her. At the moment she took her last breath I kissed her and gave her a hug...even the nurse was crying. I left the house knowing my life will never be the same. Gram was such a big part of all our lives.
I am sad that I can no longer call her and tell her stories about what we are doing. No matter how exciting or boring Gram would listen intently to every detail. She was so proud of each of us and loved us more than anything. This morning when I was with her she kept saying "I love you" over and over again. She knew it was her time and the last thing on her mind was her family.
I know now that Gram is finally where she wanted to be for so long. She always told us one day she will be up in heaven with Pop. I am sure he was waiting with open arms and probably a special dinner he cooked up.
I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to be with Gram practically everyday in the last few months. I loved hearing stories and talking with her. I know that she was not always aware of what was going on and she often was frustrated but I felt that the time I spent with her was what she would have wanted. She was a great lady and I can't wait to tell Elana all about her one day.
3 comments:
Donna,
I'm so happy that you were there with Gram as she passed. I hope to do the same with my Nana. You're right when you said Gram would always listen intently! She always made me feel so welcome during our visits. She's such a sweetheart and a beautiful soul. She will be missed. God Bless her soul! If you need anything, please call. ~Lydia
Hi Donna. Thank you guys for keeping me updated about Gram and her passing. I cried when Leaf told me, because I truly enjoyed being around her. It is so true how proud she was of her family. She adored you all so much. She treated Leaf like he was family, and even me. Everytime I would see her, a big smile would creep up on her face. She always asked me how things were and loved hearing about my schooling or new job or other life events. I am so glad to have known her. She will be greatly missed.
Love,
Shannen
Donna,
I am sorry to hear that you lost Gram. It is wonderful that you were able to be there with her.
We are thinking about you.
Jen Johnson
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