Way to personal but way to funny not to post

Hallelujah! Leaf is bottle feeding Elana and it is working!!! Tonight is a test run for Thursday. So on to the funny story.

So last Sunday I was very, very constipated...not big news but rare and not so pleasant. I am a fiber eating machine so I am not used to this malady to say the least. This can be caused by my crazy thyroid but I will chalk it up to a few stops for fast food...of which I will avoid in the future.

Anyway all the plumbing was plugged and after days of not feeling right I asked Leaf what to do...he sent me to the RiteAid...barely walking mind you..to get some stuff. I am a practical shopper. I buy on sale and buy in bulk so this lead to my dilemma which turned into the funny story.

I quickly found the Magnesium Citrate (some magical poop maker) and Preparation H (just in case). I turned around to go to the register and on sale was KY jelly...not a purchase I am going to make when the kids are around or with my mom (I guess she can read though). Anyone who has had a baby or is post menopausal (I hear) understands.

So I make my selection and while relishing my savings realize what I am buying. A kit for something God and now you know I will never EVER do. My innocent purchase looks much worse than it is. I contemplate putting back the KY but the sale has me by its grips. I survey the pharmacy and decided not to go there I might know someone then I turn for the front register and make my move.

I approach the cashier most likely to have smoked meth and plop my bounty down. I barely lift my head because at this point I know this is hilarious. As I am paying I sigh and the cashier asks "rough week?" I smile and just say yeah....I should have said "naw gonna be a rough night."

Anyhow, I of course walked out of the store and called Leaf, my sister, Angela, Janet, and I texted Dee while I was shopping. Come to find out I just needed some Starbucks!